Biggest Bummers of 2013

Well, I’ve gone over my Best Nerd Things of 2013, and now it’s time for the flip side. Instead of saying what I thought was the “Worst” though, I’m going with what disappointed me the most. It’s not Jetpack Comics’ opinions, they’re alllll mine.  I’m sure there’s some things that I didn’t like that you all loved (just like I’m sure some of you will voice your displeasure over my “Best” things of 2013), so keep in mind, this is my opinion, and my opinion only. So, without further ado, let’s get this bad boy going.

agents-of-shield-official-posterAgents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Of all the things on this list, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. stands out as my biggest disappointment of 2013. Perhaps my expectation were too high, but something just feels off about this series. This should be a no-brainer hit for ABC, but for the most part the showrunners have filled it with boring characters and episodes that feel the same week in and week out. At one point, my cable provider had mistakenly labeled a repeat episode on the On Demand service as “new”, and it took me six minutes to realize I had already seen the episode. That’s not a good sign. I might stick with it when the show returns from the mid season break, but I can’t say I’m looking forward to it.
Fanboy Reactions2955389-8083947147-23623

Look, we’re all fans of things to varying degrees. Naturally this means that some of us will have very strong reactions to films, television shows, and the comic books that feature our favorite characters. But 2013 saw things get pretty ugly in the realm of fanboy reactions. What started with Iron Man 3’s Mandarin decision quickly snowballed from there, leading to Batfleck death threats, name calling, and even discussions about Wonder Woman’s cup size. At this point, where we’ve been proven wrong time and time again, can’t we try to not have a knee-jerk reaction to every piece of  comic book movie news that comes our way? Or at the very least, not react like socially inept basement dwellers? It’s extremely difficult, I know (and you’ll see how difficult in a few segments), but let’s try and at least be nice to one another.

all-new-marvel-now-chart-copy-474x800Marvel comic book pricing/renumbering

Hey Marvel, I get that you have a good thing going with the Marvel NOW! initiative, but you’re going nuts. Renumbering books after a year of them being published? “But many of them made it to issue 18 or higher!”, you say. Well yes, but only because those books were double and triple shipped. Renumbering a book like Wolverine or Fantastic Four isn’t because a new writer has a “grand new take on the character”, it’s because those books aren’t selling and you know slapping a new #1 on it will give you an uptick in sales. Not only that, but it sounds exactly like the publishing plan that Jeph Loeb talked about on Kevin Smith’s “Fatman on Batman” podcast a year ago.

I can live with renumbering, but it’s the pricing on these books that really kills me. If you’re going to double ship a book, does it have to cost $3.99? None of this books have a high page count, and it screams “we want your cash”. I love Mark Waid’s Daredevil, but I’m seriously doubting if I’ll pick up the relaunch not because of quality or the idiotic move to renumber it. No, the reason I many not get it is that it’ll be $3.99, and most likely double shipped. As a comic lover on an ever tightening budget, Marvel’s been making a lot of decisions on my pull list for me by raising their prices.

And don’t think you’re off the hook DC. As much as I love Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo’s Batman the string of issues costing me anywhere from 4.99 to 7.99 was ridiculous. Yes, those were longer issues, but it makes me extremely suspicious that this was a move on DC’s part to see how much readers would be willing to pay for their comics.  The only way to keep comics affordable for us is to stop buying them when they reach a certain price point….which directly goes against our need to have every issue of a story.

Age of UltronAge of Ultron #1 cover by Bryan Hitch

Age of Ultron was the worst Marvel event of the last ten years. Teased for what seemed like forever, the crossover ultimately lead to…not much at all… unless you think a Spawn character that no one has remembered since 1995 joining the Marvel universe is the mind blowing revelation that Marvel wants you to think it is. AoU started off extremely strong, but by the fifth issue, which still didn’t feature the titular megalomaniac robot, I started to get worried. By the seventh issue, where Invisible Woman and Wolverine went into the past and started messing with time, I was distraught. By the final issue, I was pissed. The ramifications are still being felt now in the ultimate universe with the Cataclysm series, but really, ten issues that could’ve been condensed down to what, four? Five tops? To add insult to injury, the sequel to Avengers subtitle is the same as this waste of paper, so we’ll have a ton of poor schmucks coming in and buying this piece of garbage thinking that’s what they’ll get in 2015.

1069251_10151824905663203_1476849956_nMan of Steel 2 rumors

Superman. Batman. Lex Luthor. Lois Lane. Wonder Woman. Nightwing? Doomsday? Martian Manhunter? Metallo?

These are just some of the names that are either definitely appearing or rumored to appear in Man of Steel 2/Batman vs. Superman. Now, I know that I just talked about having knee-jerk reactions to comic book movie news, but this sounds like too much, too soon. WB isn’t doing themselves any favors in stacking the story for their next Superman film. In fact, it makes them seem even more jealous of Marvel Studio’s Avengers money than they already do. While we know nothing about the story for the 2015 DC mash-up, it seems like we have a new casting announcement every day, and each one of them is for a major character. I really worry about the story for this next film, and how much screen time poor Henry Cavill will have. It is technically a Superman movie still, right?

WB’s handling of the “DC Cinematic Universe”Superman-Batman-and-Wonder-Woman

Warner Bros is jealous of Marvel’s success with their movie properties, it’s pretty easy to see. Sure, they have the Nolan Batman series, but remember Green Lantern and how well that panned out? Of course you don’t.

The best thing Warner could do is to straight up copy Marvel Studios’ films that lead to Avengers. Instead, we’ve got a Superman sequel that is starting to feel less like a Superman film and more like a Justice League one, and a phenomenal show that WB refuses to connect to the Man of Steel universe. That’s right, as of now, there’s no plans for WB to connect their hit series Arrow with the upcoming Justice League plans, which is disconcerting, because the best thing they could do would be to connect these two. It would be one less thing that writers would have to explain, and probably cause an uptick in sales of the Arrow blu rays. Hell, why not just amend Ryan Reynold’s contract so Green Lantern can appear in Justice League as well. The worst thing that could happen is people buy more Green Lantern blu rays to see what the character was all about.

It’s a shame that Warners can’t get their act together with the DC properties. Lord knows Marvel Studios could use the competition.  I want to see the Justice League on screen as badly as they do, but I certainly don’t want it to be rushed. At the rate Warner Bros is going though, they’ll shoot themselves in the foot before they even get to Justice League.

CAPA2012001_DC11Captain America

Man…what happened? Before Marvel NOW!, Captain America was one of the strongest books Marvel had (under Brubaker), but now with Rick Remender on board it’s become a mess.  From a strange sci-fi premise that’s completely against the standard Captain America fare to John Romita, Jr.’s extremely rushed looking art, there was not a whole lot to praise about this book. I’ve watched countless Captain America fans drop the book after waiting for “it to get better”. For their sakes I hope it does soon.

Amazing Spider-Man 2’s Green Goblingoblin-whos-obviously-dane

I know, I know. After defending Batfleck from the hordes of insane knee-jerk fanboys, to have me start bitching about Amazing Spider-Man 2’s Green Goblin screams of hypocrisy. But I’m trying to keep it in check. I really am. But the more I see of an apparently Harry Osborn as the Green Goblin before his father the more my Spidey fan boy brain detonates.  It just sucks because I was VERY excited for the next Andrew Garfield Spidey flick, and seeing that bit of news has instantly tainted that excited with a “yeah, BUT…”. Sure, there’s probably a bunch of reasons for it beyond differentiating this series from the Raimi films, but I really, really, really hope this is a bait and switch, and Norman is shown as the Green Goblin before his son in Spidey’s new movie.

BMTDK_23-4-Jokers-DaughterBatman: The Dark Knight #23.4 /Joker’s Daughter #1

Ugh. What can I say about this abomination of a comic that I haven’t said already? This was the worst book of the year, easily. A slap in the face to anyone who reads comics, Joker’s Daughter was a cash grab of the worst kind, and the fact that it suddenly become a “need to have” book only made this turd of a comic worse. All copies should be burned.

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Posted on January 5, 2014, in nerd and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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